Fast Food Abomination of the Week

It's been far too long since there's been a Fast Food Abomination of the Week. And that's a shame, because surely the KFC "Double Down" fell into this category. Heck, it may be an all-time champ!

But, perhaps, just as deserving are the new "fire-grilled ribs" from Burger King. The very idea of ribs at a fast-food restaurant is enough to make even those from the most hearty of stock cringe.

But apparently there are people who actually want to eat these things -- a whole s#$%-load of them in fact, because more than 10 million ribs have been sold since they were introduced in mid-May!

And here, of course, is where the stomach-churning can really turn into high gear: when you pull back the curtain and see how the fast-food industry works with Big Meat to come up with this garbage.

[The ribs are] a result more than a year of development between Burger King and the National Pork Board, noted [National Pork Board President] Steve Weaver.


"We've worked with experts in food innovation, product marketing, and research and development to provide Burger King with industry data and information, market trends, and menu concepting, along with product review and evaluations, " according to Paul Perfilio, NPB national foodservice marketing manager.

The National Pork Board, if you haven't guessed it, is basically a front group for the big, dirty pork producers like Smithfield -- yes, thee of the pink manure pools fame (and Paula Dean's BCF, or Best Corporate Friend -- so not surprising that they would work with Burger King to come up with these pork McNugget-looking things, 6 pieces of which run about 33 grams of fat. Woohoo!!

Yes, oh yes, in the land of the mostly free and home of the ever-increasing waist line, it's a sure bet that you can count on the U.S. fast food industry to regularly spoon up more heart-stopping, artery-clogging filth, and you can be sure that there will people who will spend their money on it. That's a gair-on-tee!

Carbs, Carbs, and More Carbs, Baby!

It's been a while since LBoN's has had a worthy Fast Food Abomination of the Week. But we have a worthy winner this time.

Domino's new Bread Bowl Pastas! That's right, pasta, no doubt plastered with a ton 'o cheese -- such as the 3-cheese pasta -- in a bowl of bread. It's double the carbs for $5! Woohoo!

Other options include allegedly Italian favorites, like the Chicken Alfredo and the Chicken Carbonara, because pasta just isn't pasta without some chicken in it!

Point deductions, however, for the fine print explaining that these delightful past dishes are available in a regular, inedible bowl. How health-conscious of Domino's. Pshaw.

Scrapin’ Up the Bits… Heavy Reading Style

A whole host of stuff worthy of noting.

To begin with, and on a completely self-serving note, my food obsession intersects just slightly with my day job. The writing’s a bit heavier than you might get in USA Today or the Post-Gazette. But it’s still neat stuff.

Want to get an up-close look at some local farms? PASA is sponsoring a local farm tour this Saturday!

And it’s been a while for this, but there is a new entry in the Fast Food Abomination of the Week. And it’s a returning champ this time, Quiznos, for its $5 “large deli favorite subs,” the commercials for which proudly proclaim that these subs come with one pound of meat.

Speaking of way too much food – or, perhaps more accurately, calories – Americans continue to get bigger.

From 2005 to 2007, the proportion of adults who were obese (based on self-reported height and weight) increased by 7% to a nationwide average of 25.6%, Deborah Galuska, Ph.D., of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and colleagues reported in the July 18 issue of MMWR: Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report.

In three states -- Alabama, Mississippi, and Tennessee -- almost a third of adults were obese.

But it appears that Burger King has gotten part of the message. After close to a year of test marketing, Burger King is taking its apple fries – red delicious apples cut to look like French fries – nationwide.

The nationwide launch coincides with its new BK Positive Steps Nutrition Program and nutritionally balanced kids meal.

The apples are available a la carte for $1.49, said Burger King spokeswoman Heather Krasnow.

The kids’ meal offers a serving of macaroni and cheese, fresh apple fries with a low-fat caramel dipping sauce and a low-fat milk. The meal has a total of 350 calories and less than 25% of calories from fat. It carries a suggested retail price of $3.49.

I’m still not taking my kids there.

And those tainted tomatoes? Psych. But look out for the Ja-Lop-A-Nose!

Federal officials investigating a three-month-old salmonella outbreak have isolated the bacteria in a jalapeño pepper from a small distribution facility in McAllen, Tex., and yesterday warned consumers nationwide to avoid eating raw jalapeños or products that contain them until more is known.

It’s a good thing the jalapenos in our garden, and like four other pepper varieties, are finally starting to appear.

And this takes home gardening to a whole other, kind of snobby, level

That is where Trevor Paque comes in. For a fee, Mr. Paque, who lives in San Francisco, will build an organic garden in your backyard, weed it weekly and even harvest the bounty, gently placing a box of vegetables on the back porch when he leaves. …

As a result of interest in local food and rising grocery bills, backyard gardens have been enjoying a renaissance across the country, but what might be called the remote-control backyard garden — no planting, no weeding, no dirt under the fingernails — is a twist. “They want to have a garden, they don’t want to garden,” said the cookbook author Deborah Madison, who lives in Santa Fe, N.M.

I guess if you don’t gain any satisfaction from growing a little of your own food and have the cash to spend on a personal gardener, why not, eh?

Scrapin' Up the Bits, Bed-ridden style

Ahh, the holidays, time to decorate your house, buy some gifts, make merry, and, of course, come down with some dreaded sickness that leaves you flat on your back. So, a longer update on the milk label ordeal will be just a brief note, combined with some other odds and ends.

First, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette was kind enough to print an op-ed I submitted on this subject in its Sunday “Forum” section. Aw, shucks. Considering that I usually write slightly more technical stuff, I was just honored to be considered.

Over at Chewswise, a post written before Gov. Rendell stepped in to put these regulations on hold, has some interesting tidbits, including this one comparing organic producers, which undergo formal inspections, and those who aren’t organic but are synthetic hormone free:

Conventional milk producers can issue legal affidavits about their practices under penalty of fraud. But Pennsylvania closed off this avenue by saying that such affidavits were now unacceptable as a basis for label claims.

Next, it’s been a little while, but we have two very deserving candidates for Fast Food Abomination of the Month. The winners are Wendy’s Jalapeno Cheddar Double Melt, which the chain reintroduced this week for a “limited time only.” Ah, yes, two beef patties, lots of gooey cheese, bacon, and a heaping helping of (undoubtedly canned) jalapenos. What is it the kids say, these days? Oh, yeah. OMG! Not to be outdone, Pizza Hut has introduced the Double Deep pizza, which has double the toppings and 50% more cheese.” This is not pizza. It’s acid reflux in a cardboard box.

And, lastly, because I think it’s time to go get horizontal again, the other night I made a favorite of ours, pan-roasted pork chops. Although they are fantastic on their own, decided to make a quick sauce. So after I pulled the chops from the oven, I

• removed them from the pan and put the pan on a burner
• added half cup each of white wine and chicken stock (yes, it was store bought! Sue me!)
  
• cranked the heat up to high
• Scraped up the bits on the pan
• And let it reduce, about in half, which took about 5 minutes, stirring it here and there.

You want a sauce here, so be patient and let it reduce and thicken. It was excellent. Highly recommend this little bit of extra work. UPDATE: Ooops. Totally forgot. When the consistency was where I liked it, removed it from the heat and added about half-tablespoon of somewhat softened butter, lightly stirred it in, and then poured it over our wonderful pork chops from Wil-Den Farms.