November 1, 2010

Fast Food Abomination of the Week

My system for selecting awardees of this prestigious designation is extremely complicated. To sum it up for the lay person, though, it can be most simply described thusly:

I see commercial for fast food product


Estimation of caloric load


Extent of face contortion caused by considering extent of likely GI disruption that would follow from ingestion of said product

If the sum of this equation is enough to induce long-standing mental disturbance, then it's fairly obvious that I've got a winner.

Which brings me to this week's winner: Dunkin Donuts' Pancake Sausage Bites, or maybe it's Sausage Pancake Bites. The name alone I think says it all. And I don't recall, but I have to assume there's some syrup-like product for dipping of the Sausage/Pancake or Pancake/Sausage bites. [Insert shudder here]

On the eve of an election that has been filled with so much stomach-turning behavior by alleged adults (both those running for office and their supporters), the introduction of this product seems strangely appropriate. Bravo, Dunkin' Donuts. Bravo.

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