February 24, 2011

Dear Miller Marketing Staff

Hi, there...

Just a quick comment on your ever-present "man up" series of commercials. I've seen some really stupid beer gimmicks in my day. The "sour beer face," the bottle that changes color when it's at its optimal temperature (whatever the f@#$ that is!), the vortex bottle (oh, wait, isn't that yours too?).

But this "man up" thing is just, well, really really really ... moronic. In no way, shape, form, or manner is drinking Miller Lite, the flavor of which -- if I recall correctly from the decade or so since I last tasted one -- resides somewhere between mildly soapy dish water and a mix of heavily watered down bottom shelf liquors, an exercise in manhood. It's actually the total opposite. It is an action of somebody who really doesn't like beer.

Also, the whole "man up" thing -- with the skinny jeans, the fake tan, the European thong -- it's not funny. Hell, it's not even remotely clever. Do us all a favor. Go talk to the Volkswagen folks. They know a thing about funny and clever.

Thanks for listening, and no hard feelings, eh?

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